Minkgirl Muses

It's been a month since I've written. What have I been doing? Living. And also directing. There didn't seem to be time for anything else this month, and interestingly, I didn't have the urge to write while I was making theatre. Guess I can only think one creative thought at a time. That seems to be true in other arenas as well. Lord Limescale turned to me last week (after I'd locked myself out of the house twice and purchased the same groceries 3 days apart - ie. 24 eggs and 4 liters of milk crammed into the fridge), and he said "You're not very good at multi-tasking anymore." True. I don't know if it's just the feeding another human being gig or the inevitable consequence of living a more gently paced lifestyle, but my multi-tasking muscle is indeed now quite weak. Thank God.

As we enter the home-stretch of our London sojourn, our thoughts turn constantly to the future - how happy we'll feel to be tucked back into our San Francisco flat, how delicious the sushi and burritos and thai food will taste, how pleasurable seeing all our friends (and their kids!) again will be, how curious we are to discover if Gman remembers his old neighborhood, etc, etc, etc. We are so not where we are at the moment. We had a guest staying with us for a few days last week, and she observed that we are also complaining about London a lot. I'm chalking that up to the inevitable emotional detachment process one must go through to abandon one place in favor of another. But I'm a little worried about the move too. My two biggest fears about returning to the City by the Bay are that a) I'm going to work too hard and b) I'm going to complain too much. I was doing both those things in spades when we picked up and moved to London last year, and I don't want to go back to that tired old negative life-style.

I don't know what to make of it all. I sat next to a charming Greek man at a children's birthday party a few weeks ago, who was holding his dozing younger child in his lap while keeping careful tabs on his older daughter and her power-struggles over a tricycle. He turned to me and said, "Life with two kids. Sweet and sour, no?" That's exactly it. Life. Sweet and sour. How does it feel to leave London? Great! Except that there are a few people we will miss, and I love our tidy flat and know it will be ages before we get everything back into its rightful place in San Francisco, and I'm sure Gman is going to give us hell for awhile for throwing his life a curve ball again, and while I'm really looking forward to my new job, I'm kind of scared too - what if I sink again under the weight of a too-full life and can't get up this time?

Sweet and sour. What a lifetime's achievement to accept that you can't have one without the other. What tasty work to do, if you can keep yourself in check enough not to drop the plate.

Be well.

Photo by Donna Corless